OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
this is an emotional support booty call
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
