I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
