He kissed a someone with a penis
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
