I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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