She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Randomize
