how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
