She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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