Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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