Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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