I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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