Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize