There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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