What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize