I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
