i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
