Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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