Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
