that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
