he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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