imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
