I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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