did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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