Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
