O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize