Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
