But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think my vagina is haunted
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
