if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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