he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
