I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
