so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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