At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
