i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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