My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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