So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
