farters have to be the big spoon...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
