She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
