Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
