Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
