Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
