Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
