sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
