so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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