"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
