Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
