What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
