He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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