Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize