Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
