ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
