thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
