Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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