We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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