singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
