Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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