1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think a kid would responsible me up
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
