No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
