Kiss
Puke
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
