Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you never un-have a 4some
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
