FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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