If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
