How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize