If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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